Random strangers won't follow you.

EatWiiners, the new Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest game for Wii, will hit the shelves after everyone gets so skinny with WiiFit.

Two words: Spaghetti Saucecicles

The Romper Room Fiasco of '52 will finally be revealed.

The "Miserable Failure" Google-Bomb will magically reappear.

M. Night Shayamalan will make a movie with a plausible ending. Maybe. No, scratch that. He won't. Ever.

Our paychecks will be smaller...damn taxes.

submitted by: D'Shawn

We'll quit invading coutries most Americans can't find on a map.

Biz Markie will sing the national anthem at the inauguration

Free taffy for everyone!

There will be a run on Ritz Crackers.

The numbness in my testes will FINALLY disappear.

Cuba Gooding Jr. will NOT receive a full pardon for making "Daddy Day Camp".

Wanda Sykes will reveal that she is, after all, white.

Nell Carter will rise from the grave...and exact her revenge.

Dolemite will be named the Secretary of Bad Assery

Fielder's Choices won't count as an at-bat. That makes no sense.

Elmers will sponsor the ambulance that treats horses that get hurt on racetracks.

Hillary will know how to take a clue.

Microsoft will make quality products. Err. Maybe

Every eating establishment will serve coke zero

There will be a national Renaissance Festival day in America.

Mr. President will greet all of his foreign guests with cans of "peanuts."

Knight Rider won't be driving a stupid Mustang.

This guy will come after you.